Saturday, September 4, 2010

The Sickness

When you become what you used to hate,
when you invite depression into your life,
when you have no control of yourself
you become the sickness

It has control over you
It leads you down an awful path
It holds the emotions you hide in the darkness
your consumed by the sickness

When there are no options left ,
When all you say are lies,
when the hope of being good stops circulating thought your veins

The sickness has you
The sickness is you

You created your own misery by reliving your past
Those bad feelings cant stop racing in the broken mind that you keep
You lost all care for yourself
For love, life and even Choosen goals

Your emotions are strong
your depression is deep
This sickness is strong
This sickness is deep

It has you
It has control over you
it is you

so your dreams are no longer your dreams

When you blame everyone for your own mistakes
When can not feel anything but unstable
when you can no longer conform within the world

You start to your show your true Feelings
but none of it makes sense
now out comes the Anger
and your now a prisioner of Rage

In your own mind
This is all right
But in our world
 its is  not understood

You allowed the sickness to take you
And that is when we lost you
and you lost yourself

While wandering the streets
as you never did before
trying to dissociate yourself from your own family
walking right into a life with no dreams no future
looking to embrace this new life
you made for yourself

Dangerously running
more sicker than eva
Desperatly needing to
escape from the pain
your Emotions come out
but you still refuse to get Help

When distorted thoughts are locked in your head
When the past enters your mind of what could of been
When you view your family as just another bad memory
and you welcome your new twisted thoughts and the streets as your new home

your playing with your future and ruining your own life
you commited a crime
now your life is in the hands of a judge
instead of a loving family

Confused & lost in this maddness you created
trapped in your own mind
You continue to follow the pattern that
gives you the concept of happiness while drifting you into the bottoms of hell

To think this is the life you choose for yourself

Broken and Torn
crushed by a moment of complete insanity
Hoping against tomorrow
but still confined to your destorbed thoughts
you still cant see how you made all the wrong chooses

your mind is no longer your mind

This mind once housed

This mind now holds
many racing thoughts
The memories that turned sour
and the dreams that are no more
there now replaced with sleepless nights

your vision is blurry
your ideas are obsurd
your heart is full of Hate

you now have sick thoughts
whispering through
the cracks of your broken mind

The remaining pieces
now plagued
with unrelenting numbness
and indifference

you cant see it
its locked inside you

This is the Reality

The sickness has you
And this sickness is you
and if you dont get help
This sickness will hold your mind for all of time .........

written about mental illness  for my son Alex .